~我養的竉物是自己~

3. Stella & Ben Sonnenschein     Married 51 years | Miami Beach, Florida

IN THE BEGINNING: Ben and Stella had childhoods ripped apart by the Holocaust. Ben, who grew up in a small town in Poland, spent four years in concentration camps before being liberated by the Russian army at age 20. Stella was a "hidden child," concealed from the Nazis in her native Warsaw by families her parents had begged or paid for help. After the war, Stella reunited with her mother, who took her to live with relatives in Israel, while Ben moved to America. The two met in 1958, when Ben, a 33-year-old factory manager living in New York City, traveled to Tel Aviv on vacation. Stella, 23, was the first of two blind dates he had on the same night. They both felt instant chemistry — and then Ben explained he had to go meet the other woman. "He told me it wouldn't be fair to stand her up," says Stella. "Right then I saw he was a mensch." Two nights later, while waltzing at a rooftop restaurant under what Stella calls "big, romantic stars," Ben proposed."I'm generally not a quick decision-maker," says Stella, now 74. "It took me five years to decide on curtains for my house. But when it's right, it's right." One week later, they were married. "It was the most expensive vacation I ever took," jokes Ben, 84, a retired textile executive. "And I'm still paying for it!"

MARRIAGE THEN AND NOW: Decades later, Ben and Stella say their relationship remains romantic and full of surprises. For example, Ben loves to hide chocolate around the house for Stella to find. Aside from occasional disagreements about how to raise their two children ("Ben always pushed — I'm the permissive one," says Stella), the two say they have been blessed with a calm home life. (For years they never spoke of the Holocaust to each other, but now they regularly go to dinner with other survivors and talk about their experiences, which Stella describes as "healing.") "I know it sounds unbelievable that we almost never argue," says Stella, who formerly owned a clothing and jewelry boutique. "But what Ben and I endured early on taught us that peace and a good heart are the most important things. We don't sweat the small stuff."

SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE:

"Ben doesn't say, 'I love you,' and I don't force him to. Instead, I appreciate it when he brings me a sandwich in bed. Especially since he hates crumbs in the sheets." —Stella
"Don't get angry over more than one thing at a time. People jump around from one issue to another." —Ben
"We still kiss. We're affectionate. But it comes naturally. It doesn't happen for show. Sometimes we just lay down in bed and hold hands." —Stella

Still smitten in elementary school, he proposed to her with a ring from a box of Cracker Jack. (She turned him down.) The children remained friends, but it wasn't until Imogene was a senior in college and Elmer was working at a supermarket that they finally went on a real date. On their third evening out, Elmer proposed again (and later presented Imogene with another ring — this time an emerald-cut diamond). Imogene said yes, and shortly after her graduation they eloped. The couple were deliriously happy but, worried their parents would be angry at the sudden union, didn't tell their families for two months. Once they found out, Elmer's mother remarked to him, "Well, you finally did get that baby."

6. Macon & Jim McDavid    Married 51 years | Raleigh, North Carolina

IN THE BEGINNING: Macon (preferred nickname: Gorgeous) had no shortage of suitors offering to drive her to the Durham, North Carolina, insurance company where she worked during the summer of 1956. But one fellow, a teller at the bank where she made deposits, was insistent. "I thought he was so annoying!" she says. "He'd ride alongside me in his old Ford, going 10 miles an hour and calling out the window." Once she agreed to accompany Jim (who goes by "Deeds") to a University of North Carolina football game, Macon discovered that she was fond of the Tar Heels and the curly-haired boy who had brought her. They married two years later, in 1958. The Florida hotel they stayed at during their honeymoon cost $5 a night, and for fun they went to a dog race.

MARRIAGE THEN AND NOW: At times it's been a rough ride for Deeds and Gorgeous. When they were first married, Jim, a real estate investor and manager, worked long hours to make ends meet while Macon stayed at home with their three kids. "We were so poor that I taught dance to neighborhood children just to buy our kids summer sandals," she recalls. Then, in 2003, the couple was pitched into what Macon calls "a black hole" after their son, Mark, died suddenly of head trauma at the age of 41. "We wondered if something could have been done differently," says Jim, "but we never blamed each other." The grandparents of four visit Mark's burial place every week, attend a support group for bereaved families, and try to keep Mark's memory alive for his daughter. "I've never understood how people abandon each other for no reason other than being tired of the other," says Jim. "Macon and I believe, 'Let's do what's right and good — and do it together.'"

SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE:
"In every family, someone's got to drive the bus. But sometimes you change positions. You say, 'OK, this is not my thing after all. It's your turn to drive.' All our marriage, Jim took care of our checkbooks. Then, three years ago, I realized I had these wonderful math skills and could do them easier than he could." —Macon
"You've got to be able to trust your spouse. If she passes me the ball, I try to run with it. And if I pass her the ball, she does the same." —Jim
"Jim loves to talk, so by now I've heard most of his stories. But they're all good ones, so I still happily listen. And as for me? Jim thinks I can do just about anything." —Macon